Why Masturbation is Great for your Sex Life


It seems there are a few damaging myths surrounding masturbation that need to be cleared up. The first myth is ‘If my partner masturbates, it means our sex life is inadequate’ and the second myth is ‘Masturbating means I won’t want sex with my partner because I will be ‘orgasmed out’.’

News flash; both of these myths are not true, in fact masturbation is a healthy and normal part of life and is a positive addition to any romantic relationship.   Self-love and self-care are an essential part of life, and masturbation is just that; a form of self-love and self-pleasure. Masturbation is sex with yourself and begins in utero. Yes, that’s right, we begin touching and pleasuring our genitals when we are in our mother’s womb!   

Masturbation is essential because it gives us an opportunity to explore our own body and discover what truly turns us on. We learn how we like to be touched and pleasured and can then share that valuable knowledge with our sexual partners. After all, if we can’t pleasure ourselves, how can we expect our partners to know how to pleasure us? If your partner has a problem with your masturbation habit, perhaps explain to them that you do it as a form of self-love and self-care, and that it's only going to add value to your existing sex life with them. If your partner fails to respects that, then that's their issue and they need to face what it is within themselves that makes them feel like masturbation isn't ok.  

 If you are one of those people who have an issue with your partner self-pleasuring, it’s time to get over yourself. Honour your partner for taking the time out for self-love and self-pleasure. Your partner’s body is theirs, not yours, and they have every right to find pleasure within their own body. Masturbation can be in fact be a very sacred practice and is to be encouraged and respected.  

If you think you will be ‘orgasmed’ out by ‘too much’ masturbation (therefore not wanting to have sex with your partner later on), think again. The more sex you have, the more sex you want. So, if you’re having sex with your self (aka masturbation), you’re allowing the sexual juices to flow and it’s a good indication that your mojo is healthy!   Regular masturbation is just as healthy and essential to your health and wellbeing as regular partner sex. It’s time to let go of the negative stuff that surrounds masturbation when in relationship and instead foster the belief in our culture that it’s completely normal, healthy and natural.

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Juliet Allen is a Sexologist, Sex Coach and Writer.  With a reputation for her bold and straight-to-the-point manner, Juliet runs educative workshops, retreats and events in Australia for young people and adults. Juliet is passionate about empowering women to embrace their true sexual nature and encourages everyone to explore and own their sexuality. Her popular weekly sexology column features in the Gold Coast Bulletin and her writing features regularly in Elephant Journal, GQ, Huffington Post, Thought Catalogue and her own blog, Let’s Talk About Sex.  


1 comment


  • Dorothy Freed

    Makes sense to me. reads well. Good piece.


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