Although it's impossible to know the numbers, it is common knowledge that many, many women have clitoral orgasms. That being said, it might not common knowledge for everyone. It was years before I realized that the orgasms I was having weren’t like the orgasms other women were having. With an extremely sensitive clitoris that shied away from too much touch, I instead enjoyed G-spot stimulation with partners and on my own.
Then, a few years ago, I saw an article on CNN.com in 2010 that posed the question: “Finding the G-Spot: Is it Real?” It’s not the only recent article of this kind either–the Huffington Post published a similar article in 2014. Suddenly, I was faced with the bewildering question: if the G-spot isn’t real, then does that mean my G-spot orgasms aren’t real?
What exactly is the G-spot?
According to Dr. Steve McGough, Director of R&D at Women and Couples Wellness, “The G-spot is a region in the vagina, facing the front of the body usually around 1 to 3 inches inside.”
He told me that the G-spot earned its name after Dr. Ernst Gräfenberg introduced it to mainstream Western medicine in the 1940s.
The G-spot “exhibits enlargement during sexual arousal, may produce pleasurable sensations with touch during sex play, can produce an orgasm distinct in quality from a typical clitoral orgasm, and may produce a female ejaculate during orgasm via associated skene's glands,” says board-certified OB/GYN Dr. Kyrin Dunston, MD.
Listen to the experts.
So what’s the difference between a clitoral orgasm and a G-spot orgasm? If you’ve experienced both, then you’ll know that they produce very different sensations. However, the clitoris and the G-spot are actually not as divided as the ongoing orgasm debate makes it seem.
According to sexologist Dr. Laurel Steinberg, PhD, they’re actually part of the same organ:
“This language is highly debated,” she says, “but since the clitoris that we know and love is really just the external part of a much larger internal organ that stretches deep within the pelvis, and the G-spot is an area within the vagina that allows for easy back-end clitoral stimulation, an orgasm is an orgasm is an orgasm and the terms ‘clitoral orgasm’ and ‘G-spot orgasm’ really refer to which part of the organ is being stimulated to produce the desired effect.”
Experts agree that the G-spot is not a myth. Not everyone woman will be able to experience a G-spot orgasm or enjoy G-spot stimulation, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist.
“Anecdotally, I have had too many clients report a very distinct sexual sensation from stimulation of this spot, as well as a unique orgasm accompanied by ejaculation, for this to be a myth,” Dr. Dunston says. “Although the literature may not have elucidated the exact nature of this spot as yet (some studies show it may be prostatic-like tissue and others find it may be extensions of clitoral tissue deep into the vagina) there is general consensus that it does exist in most women. Lastly, the fact that so-called G-spot vibrators are among the most popular vibrators sold to women is an indication that this is a real thing–most women are unlikely to pay more for a specialty vibrator unless the pleasure is worth the price!”
Dr. McGough agreed and explains:
“The G-spot (or some type of sensory area) clearly exists and G-spot orgasm is very real. With the exception of women who have had structural modification from surgery, cancer damage or related injury, etc., every woman has these areas. Will stimulation of these areas give a woman an orgasm? It depends on the woman and her body. Women need both the right type of stimulation (being both at the right location and the right speed and range of movement) and they need to be mentally prepared to feel it. Many people have a very specific way they achieve orgasm and this is what their mind is expecting. Worrying if it will happen or not and thinking about it too much can block the relaxation needed to get in the mental state to achieve orgasm.”
Non-experts also agree!
So the experts are in agreement, but what about real, live women? I spoke to four women who have experienced G-spot orgasms.
Lisa*, 22, says that clitoral orgasms are more common for her but that she is able to achieve a G-spot orgasm when her girlfriend penetrates her digitally when she is in the cowgirl position.
Tiffany Yelverton, a sex coach and sex expert at Entice Me explains that she experiences G-spot orgasms more often than clitoral orgasms. She is the only one out of all four women I interviewed to report this. She has also experienced female ejaculation caused by G-spot stimulation.
“Being on top, for me, is the best for g-spot stimulation,” Tiffany said. “Also, if I am on my knees or standing when being stimulated with the ‘come hither’ motion, it is easier to have a g-spot orgasm.”
Doggy style and the occasional missionary position work best for her. As for toys, Chantal recommends using a vibrating cock ring to help with clitoral stimulation during penetrative sex with a partner.
“I’ve not found a toy yet that is as good as a man’s hand. He rests the heel of his hand on the top of my pelvis, palm up, and then inserts his fingers back and upward,”says Christine Baumgartner.
She says being on her back is the best position for this. On The Perfect Catch, Baumgartner advises clients that are looking for the G-spot to search for something that feels like the tip of a nose.
Guess what? All four women agree that the notion that the G-spot orgasm is a myth is ridiculous.
“I think that the myth is based on lack of focus on women's pleasure and knowledge of women's bodies,” Yelverton says. “The G-spot is not external, so it takes a little more finesse in locating it. It sometimes needs to be ‘woken up’ when first exploring, so it may take more time, whereas the clitoris is right there on the outside of the body.”
If you’ve never experienced a G-spot orgasm but would like to, all of the women and experts that I spoke to agree that it takes patience, some trial and error to find the right position and type of stimulation, and perhaps the aid of a sex toy made with a curved tip to enhance G-spot stimulation. Remember that not all women can reach G-spot orgasm–and that's okay. But, if and once you do achieve G-spot orgasm, rest assured that YES, that really did just happen.
Finding your G-Spot
*Names have been changed.
About the Author: Kelly Dougher is a freelance writer and editor whose work has appeared in Glamour, Teen Vogue, NYLON, Bustle, Refinery29, and more. You can follow her via Instagram and Twitter.