By Rachel Khona
Once upon a time, I was making out with a guy I had started dating when all of a sudden the wailing sounds of Steve Perry came blasting through the speakers. “Don’t Stop Believin'” had started playing when we're in the middle of swapping spit. Don’t get me wrong I love a good Journey song as much as the next person. Particularly when I’m inebriated and at the Jersey Shore and/or a pub on St. Patrick’s Day. However, I do not enjoy it when someone is trying to feel me up.
Playing music when you’re doing the horizontal dance is a tradition as old as Father Time. It sets the mood, gets everyone feeling extra frisky, and shows what awesome taste you have in music. But then there are times something so hideously vile and mood-killing bursts out from your speakers it causes your joint libidos to disappear faster than a gold digger around a broke dude. Perhaps you forgot to arrange the perfect playlist. Or you did and then realized 23 minutes is definitely not long enough. Or even worse you left your music selection up to chance and just pressed shuffle revealing your fondness for boy bands.
If you’re lucky the two of you can just laugh off your bad taste and continuing pawing each other. At worse, your partner will think you need a musical intervention or a lobotomy. As an ode to inappropriate sexy time music, I’ve compiled this handy dandy list of the Top Ten Worst Makeout Songs Ever. Avoid these songs at all costs.
10. “Fuck You Gently," Tenacious D
9. “Like a Surgeon,” Weird Al Yankovic
8. “With Arms Wide Open," Creed
7. “How You Remind Me," Nickelback
6. “Achy Breaky Heart," Billy Ray Cyrus
5. “Barbie Girl," Aqua
4. “America," Neil Diamond
3. “U Can’t Touch This," MC Hammer
2. “We Want Some Pussy," 2 Live Crew
1. “Don’t Stop Believin," Journey