2 Lists I Made Before And After Being A Bridesmaid


I was honored when my friend from college asked me to be her bridesmaid. I had been there to witness the first budding of her romance with her then fiance, and then watched it bloom into real deal love. All a-twitter with wedding talk, I was determined to be the best bridesmaid ever. Therefore, I made myself a list in order to be the best support a bride could ever have.

List to Being the Best Bridesmaid Ever

1. SAY YES TO ANY DRESS SHOPPING!

2. Scour online deals for brides and weddings.

3. No bridal gown is ever ugly.

4. If she asks you to help out with invites, say "yes."

5. It’s not the bridesmaid style you want, it’s what she wants.

6. Plan a wild bachelorette party!

7. Always let her talk about the wedding. No matter what. You love weddings, remember!

Armed with my list and a good attitude, I dove into the wedding preparations full speed. 3 months and one wedding later, wiser and much more experienced, I made a new list--one full of practical, real-life bridesmaid applications.

List to Surviving Being A Bridesmaid

1. JUST SAY NO! It’s not an honor. It’s a curse.

2. If you can’t get out of it, put aside a few hundred dollars for expenses: paying for the bridesmaid dress, shoes, makeup and hair, wedding and shower gift, transportation costs, the bachelorette party, and any random things the bride may need the day of.

3. An ugly bridesmaid dress is fine if it’s not over $100 dollars. In fact, if it’s under $100, it is the BEST DRESS EVER. If it’s over $100, fight for beauty! Because if you’re paying over $200, you’ll be damn sure to wear that thing more than once.

4. If she starts to talk about her wedding, grin and bear it. It’s gonna happen, no matter how many times you change the subject to your current flame/job/life crisis/the weather.

5. There are many, many, many ugly wedding dresses. Many.

6. If you have a bachelorette party, make sure there are two parts: part a) the half where everyone (including the mother and mother-in-law) are invited and part b) the part where no family member over 45 is allowed.

7. Gently guide her to online and cheap ways to print invitations. Persuade her that handwritten ones are so passe. If she insists, prepare ice and a heating pad. Your hand will cramp for many, many days after you write “Mr. and Mrs. So-and-So are Honored” for the thousandth time.

In the end, being a bridesmaid was an honor. Being able to watch my friend get married--and help that process along--is a memory I’ll never forget.  Among others. Clearly, some honors are best only experienced once. 

Lisa Bernier is a writer based in NYC. When she's not typing away, you can probably find her by locating the nearest dog park, and there she will be, ogling all the cute dogs. She also occasionally does an Improv scene. Follow her @pilrimkim on Twitter.


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