Bachelorette Party Gift: Penis Cake Not Included

Men have a bit of a leg up on us when it comes to this whole “last fling before the ring” thing. They’ve been celebrating their last night of singledom since the 5th century B.C., when the Spartan soldiers would toast the groom-to-be over dinner - totally paleo style - we’re sure.

2,459 years later, cue the penis cake. It wasn’t until the sexual revolution of the 1960’s that women decided they deserved their own night of debauchery and the bachelorette party was born. Prior to that, the only thing the ladies were allowed to celebrate was their wife to goat ratio, AKA dowry (don’t worry, you can still figure yours out here. Thanks, internets!).

Which leads us to another thing we’ve been pondering over here at Unbound. What is the deal with all the bachelorette penis paraphernalia? Seriously. We finally get a day to celebrate our sexy selves and we choose to accessorize in penis -straws / -necklaces / -inflatable toys that probably have the weight limit of an 8 year old? We should be wearing clit rings and playing pin the tail on the fallopian tube, not wearing this monstrosity.

We think it’s time for a makeover, which is why we created The Unbound Bachelorette Box. In it, you’ll find all the necessary party components for an unforgettably saucy night out with your girlfriends. You can buy one for yourself or the bride at $30 each (valued > $70) or snag a Bach Party Pack that comes with 4 for only $100 (a $280 value!).

Bach Box 3

We believe that female sensuality is something worth celebrating, so why don’t we all back away from the penis cake, grab a panty vibe, and show em how it’s done.

Whatcha think?

Please don't be mean :-)

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Unbound will donate 6.9% of all profits to nonprofit organizations that support female sexual health and wellness.

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